“I Am Simply a Meat Puppet with Cosmic WiFi” Crewneck Sweatshirt

A soft, midweight crewneck that wears like a quiet statement. The sweatshirt features a bold, ink-style print: an eye-centered, slightly surreal illustration framed by a black border and the line “I AM SIMPLY A MEAT PUPPET WITH COSMIC WIFI.” It sits slightly oversized with classic ribbed cuffs and hem, offering a relaxed silhouette that layers easily. Subtle construction details — tubular knit (no side seams), tear-away neck label, and double-needle stitching at stress points — mean this becomes a reliable go-to for slow mornings, late-night conversations, and coffee runs. The print and optional embroidery placements let you lean into the piece’s playful, offbeat vibe while the ethically sourced cotton blend and OEKO‑TEX dyes keep it conscious and wearable.

Product features

- Medium-heavy 50/50 cotton-polyester blend for warmth and durability

- Tubular knit construction with no side seams for a smooth, waste-reducing finish

- Ribbed knit collar and double-needle stitching for shape retention and long-lasting wear

- Print and embroidery options (left/center/large center chest and wrists) plus DTF inner neck and wrist prints

- Ethically sourced US cotton, OEKO-TEX certified dyes, and safety-compliant materials

Care instructions

- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)

- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed

- Tumble dry: low heat

- Do not dryclean